Pink Underpants and Broken Dishes
by Lunarfang
Summary: Somone's been tormenting poor Sasuke, who could it be?


Hey there guys, I was thinking of Sasuke once when I was at my friend's house and we were talking about how much of a prissy little girl he is. Anywho, I was thinking about how if I ever lived in Konoha I'd do extremely horrible things to him to make him run away like the girly little baby that he is. So that's how I got my inspiration to write this little drabble. So enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it wish I did, old news moving on.

**Summary:** A certain someone has been tormenting poor Sasuke, who could it be?

**Pink Underpants and Broken Dishes**

"DAAAMMMIIITTTT!!!" The shout rang out in the early morning, startling the birds from their worm gathering and waking Kakashi Hatake from a very fitful sleep after having enjoyed the ministrations of an adorable little dolphin the previous night. Sasuke Uchiha, sharigan wielder and pretty boy of Konoha stared in horror at his reflection in his bathroom. "If I ever get my hands on whoever is doing this shit even chidori won't be enough," he growled as he turned on the shower, grabbing a brush and beginning to tame the back-combed hair that stuck out in all directions.

Luckily the back-combing wasn't permanent, but whoever did do it certainly used a lot of hairspray; which then resulted in a lot of shampoo and conditioner being used. Grumbling Sasuke stepped out of his shower and left the steaming bathroom to walk over to his dresser and pulled the top drawer open. His eyes bulged out like enormous saucers, and a choking sound came from his throat like a horrible half gasp.

The clammy dread entered his body and his blood ran cold as he went through his whole room in a frenzy, leaving him breathing harshly through his nose. "I'm going to make sure they're breathing through their ass with a tube," he hissed. Then, seeming to have no other choice, he threw on his new hot pink underwear, shorts, shirt and even headband and stalked out of the house.

Naruto roared with laughter as Sasuke walked into work that night, "Sasuke, you look….ridiculous…hahaha…" The laughter continued for a good five minutes and a few good punches, but Naruto was able to calm himself down enough to lend Sasuke a spare uniform—seeing as how that was also dyed pink; a high end French restaurant would never ever accept a pink apron.

"So you're saying someone's being doing things like this to you all week?" Neji asked, picking up a dirty plate. "Yeah," Sasuke growled again, "This morning even whoever did it back-combed my hair while I was sleeping." "But you're a shinobi Sasuke, how could someone just back-comb your entire head without you waking," Gaara interrupted. The comment, registered more as a barb in the raven's eyes, was considered for a moment, then all four boys shook their heads.

"Well, none of your fan girls would mess up your hair or call a mortuary to tell them you're dead," said Neji. "If anything, they'd kill whoever killed you. Then raise them from the dead then kill them again." Naruto sauntered up to the trio with his own dirty dishes, "Hey! Sasuke, you lazy bum you've still got one more table left to clean. You know I don't know why I wanted to become a busboy, we don't get nearly enough money like the waiters."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Stop complaining baka, you know that we're getting for a lot more then we would if we were working in a café like the girls." The voices of his friends softened and expanded as the manager came out of the kitchen. Sasuke made his way over to his last table as he emptied his previous tray of dishes. It hadn't been a very large group just a three person party really. But as Sasuke made to take the wine glasses off the table his arm jerked to a halt. The glass wouldn't move. He frowned and tried again, the glassware would not budge. He moved to one of the plates, the same problem happened. "What is going on?" he grunted. Putting his tray down Sasuke took hold of both sides of the plate and pulled. Of coarse he didn't think at first how stupid such an action would be and the worst thing to do in this situation.

"Ahhhhh!" Crash. "Dude!" Naruto called racing over to the mess that was Sasuke, broken dishes and eaten food and drink. "What the hell happened to you?!" Neji shouted, kneeling down and carefully removing the bigger pieces of porcelain along with Shikamaru.

"I'LL KILL THEM!!!! WHOEVER IS DOING THIS I'M GOING TO KILL THEM!!!!!" Raged the black-haired boy; the others shushed him quickly, but not enough before the manager came back out and reprimanded Sasuke for breaking the dishes. "It wasn't my fault!" Sasuke huffed as they stepped out into the side alleyway. "Someone's out to get me and whoever it is— "You are going to kill, we get it we get it," Naruto said.

Neji clapped a hand on Sasuke's shoulder chuckling, "Look here Sasuke, go home, lock your doors and put protections on all openings. They've already gone and dyed your clothes pink, got you in trouble with your boss and back-combed your hair into an image of Frankenstein's wife." Sasuke grumbled but thanked his friends and made his way down the street.

Naruto leaned over, "You gonna stop this anytime soon here Shika? The guy's a mess and you don't seem to be giving him a rest." Said boy slouched a little more and shook his head slowly, "He should've thought of that before he put my vest up for auction to my fan girls. I got in trouble with Lady Tsunade for not having my full uniform 'cause of him it was such a drag. Plus I had to bribe the girl who bought it." Neji raised an eyebrow, "Oh? And what exactly could have been so terrible that you've turned Sasuke into a guinea pig?"

A small irritated blush crept up Shikamaru's neck as he mumbled something about half-naked pictures being sold on e-bay. Naruto chuckled and slung an arm around Shika's waist, mirroring the action with Neji on his other side. "Well then I guess it's my duty to stop you, he could loose his job you know." Shikamaru fell into step with the other two, not bothering to remove the slightly groping, wandering hand. "You couldn't stop me if you tried Uzumaki." A light growl escaped the blonde haired boys mouth and before Shikamaru could protest he was pinned against a brick wall. "Is that so?" He growled lightly into the dark haired boy's ear.

It was now Neji's turn to roll his eyes, "Come on Naruto, I don't want to peel you two off the ground in ten minutes." Naruto's muffled reply was only just audible from his mouth's position in the crook of Shikamaru's neck, "Won't take that long." Neji's sigh echoed against the industrial walls. "Naruto just save it till we get Sasuke okay?" That stopped the perusal of Shikamaru's neck and a very tempting pout made itself known. "But he's taking forever to figure out he's gay," Naruto whined. "Don't worry we'll get him to figure it out, he's got to get tired of Sakura at some point." "She's too annoyingly loud," Naruto still pouted. Again Neji sighed, "Come on you two."

"I'd like to come," mumbled Shikamaru. "Mmmmm, your place or mine?" Naruto smirked. Never-the-less Sasuke, for once in a long time, Sasuke slept fitfully, but so did Shikamaru…and Naruto along with Neji.

There we go, it turned out a little longer then I thought it would be. It was only intended to be a drabble, but hey it turned out good anyways. :D I'm was rather pleased with myself that I was able to poke fun a little at Sakura. Reviews and/or flames accepted as usual.


End file.
